Been trying to reflect back in those days when I was trying to make up my mind for becoming an educator. Back in those days, I held many points of view about an educator should looks like. Some things remain the same while the others are changing differently.
For me, this kind of profession is still worth having and fighting for. I’m still worshipping the idea of being an educator after all. But then how the educator looks like nowadays in my point of view has changed dramatically. I did not realize it until I read someone’s blog commenting about how she could not sleep when she knew that her child will not be promoted to the higher level because according to the teacher, this child had a very short attention span.
I was shocked up to read it. With all respect to all teachers in this world especially in my country, I know how hard our responsibilities are regarding to all things we are trying to provide our students with the best that we could, but it’s sad to decide a child can’t be promoted only because some particular skills that he/she might be learning it a different way.
A few minutes after reading it all, I was realized by myself about what I did years ago when the first time I had a student who was different from others. She was acknowledged as a problem child in our class due to her behavior and yet affected her performance. Aside from her performance which is measured by ‘score’, I knew she was bright. I knew she learnt differently, I knew she needed supports, but then I did not do anything to help her.
Now, if I try to figure her with some children I’ve met after all, I know I should have done more to her. I should have supported her more than I did. It’s strange that I feel guilty for the things that other people might think it was not even a mistake. I feel guilty for not providing her an education she deserved. I feel guilty for not allowing her to be different. I feel guilty for my ignorance.
Everybody deserve education, doesn’t matter where do they get it from. In a place called school where we consider it as a place for education, why should we put someone off from a chance to get a higher level of education?
I feel sorry for the parent who could not sleep thinking about her child who might not be promoted to a higher level. I feel sorry for the child. Staying in the same class next year could be the worst experience he/she might had in the future yet no one deserves to have. I feel sorry for the teacher for his/her decision, I hope he/she would change his/her mind. And I feel sorry for myself too for what I did in the past to one of my problem student.
No one deserves to be put off from learning.
